"And No One Can Take That Away"

He was afraid, afraid of himself. 
He was afraid of the racism that is present and that awaits him. 
He was afraid of the sexism that is present and that awaits him. 
He was afraid of the homophobia that is present and that awaits him.

What sucks is that it was already here. 
Ascribed, written down, planned out, blue printed, it existed.

And so, he is afraid.
 I'm afraid too. 
But look at the environment, 
look at the surroundings,
 the people,
 the sky, 
we are in existence despite what has and what is occurring. 
Shouldn't that give you hope? 
Shouldn't that ignite courage and fearlessness? 
Can it be the fuel?

We afraid, 
yea we both afraid. 
But living,
we living too. 
And no one can take that away.

Pull Up to the Bumper Baby: Eye Contact

"Now in the parking lot garage,
You'll find the proper place,
Just follow all the written rules,
You'll fit into the space." Grace Jones/Nightclubbing/Pull up to the Bumper - 1981

Hola Chicas! So we are gonna sit down and discuss the tea of eye contact while flirting. If you didn't know now you know! Someone told me "I'm not gonna talk or flirt with you if your not looking at me." So of course peeps, you need to LOOK at whoever is talking a good game to you.

You could be looking into the eyes of your future husband and baby's father or future wife/baby's mother! Do you want to miss out on that? *cues crickets* - I didn't think so.


Eye contact is essential to flirting because the eyes say alot about a person. It allows you to read or to be read, if you know what I mean. You can gain a better sense of someone's energy towards you if you study there eyes. You can see if they want your time or not, its completely silent acknowledgement. Non-Verbal communication ignites the real communication.

It can get tricky if someone who is attractive that you have been staring at looks at you one time, simply because they caught you staring.
Lets say you walk into a room, a social gathering per say and you see a dime piece (male or female) giving you that eye! It happens all the time! You give them that eye back, thats you silently saying "kick your game." Unfortunately, some people (like myself) look else where or at the ground and are completely oblivious to the no verbal communication people of interest send us. 

So we have to use our eyes and learn how to read them if we want to master this world of flirting. There are some people who just naturally do it all the time. They walk into a room and just oozzeeee flirtation! And then some of us, like me yes I admit, are completely whack at it! So

My friend once told me - " you are going to miss out on your Hubbie because you never look at people!!!" And I don't want that!

So there you go sugar plums! Eye contact is one of the MAIN pieces of flirtation! So use it!!! 

"Accessories: How Bangles POP Your Outfit"

I have recently become an accessory fiend. I don't even have that many pieces, but the ones I do have I switch them up with each outfit.

I love bangles, specifically gold ones, not only because of the sound they make when I move my arms but the correct pop they bring to my skin and outfit.

You have to find which jewelry works for you. I'm dark skinned so gold highlights the bronze and redness in my tone.

Silver has never really been my thing all though I would like to get into it, for the moment gold is me lol! I like to wear one wide or large bangle and then accompany it with 5 small ones. Sometimes I'll just wear one large bangle and no other thin ones to just switch it up. I really like the sound it makes on my arms! It gets real! Especially when i'm talking with my hands or waving at someone lol! 


Color bangles are also a great pop to an outfit. Bracelets and necklaces can also take your outfit from 0 to 10 immediately. 

      

So get into some accessories! Have fun with it, mix and match, where one, two, or three. Remember to "Espress yoself!" - Yes pronounced just like that! :) 

What accessory do you think makes your outfits pop? 

Share, comment, and like. 

Hugs, kisses, and wishes! 

"A Few Thoughts On Nelson Mandela: Fulfillment"

I wonder what he is currently thinking as he reflects on his life. We all know that Mandela has been having severe health issues lately.

For a leader who has literally liberated so many people, African and not, Nelson Mandela has truly changed the world by the work of his mere existence. He lived his life.

After reading bits and pieces of his autobiography, I realized how vital he is to history. He is an important piece of it.

I just often think of what people like himself think when they are in their last days. Do they have thoughts such as "Did I do what I was meant to do? Is my job done? Did I love this life and can walk out of it in physical form, knowing that I fulfilled my purpose? Did it all mean something to me? Did it mean something to them?

I often think those thoughts when it comes to the movers and shakers of our time and the past.
Do we see the meaning behind his life? Behind ours? 

Also it made me question life in general. For the record this isn't meant to be a somber or sad blog post, I'm just posing the question of fulfillment and happiness with our lives. Because death makes the material not matter. It's what we do in this life that is special. Get my jist?


Share your thoughts and comments.
Hugs, kisses, and wishes!

"Talk a Good Game" - Kelly Rowland Stands Her Ground

What up peeps! I hope you have been enjoying my blog so far. I must share with you my love for music. It is so strong in me, vital for me to live. It's like water! I've never done an album review before and always toyed with the idea. So join me in my musical exploration. I recently purchased Kelly Rowland's "Talk a Good Game" and wanted to share it with ya'll. 

Kelly Rowland - Talk a Good Game Album review.

Track-listing
1.Freak
2.Kisses Done Low
3. Gone ft. Wiz Khalifa
4.Talk a Good Game ft. Kevin Cossom
5. Down on Love
6. Dirty Laundry
7. You Changed ft. Beyonce and Michelle
8. I Remember
9. Red Wine
10. This is Love
11. Street Life ft. Pusha T
12. Stand in Front of me
13. Sky Walker ft. The Dream
14. Put Your Name On It
15. #1

1. Freak -
A sexual song in which she sings about cameras, mirrors and how everyone is someone's freak. I view it as Kelly hanging in the the whole euro dance feel, and that sound is dying out but she wanted to still say "I can branch out, don't forget it, but I'll give y'all some R&B. and cross over to Pop. So I'm opening my album to show you how I can transition." I honestly don't like this song and have tried to. I found it cheesy. But at the same time it does make me dance and the lyrics are good. I give her points because it sounds weird. I'll give it a few more listens because I love Kelly. I think I'll begin to like it after a while because it is one of the most uptempo tracks Talk a Good Game Offers and shows Kelly branching out and not being safe with her music, which is what ARTISTS do, take risks. 


2. Kisses Down Low -
This song is cute, more of a solo version of motivation. I'm glad Kelly decided to release this a her lead single because there was no feature. No Lil Wayne needed. It was in the Top 10 R&B BillBoard Charts at one point. I feel like it deserved more attention. Over all it's a good (the dream) sounding track.


3. Gone- 
R&B is back with this one simply put! The pain in this song and the triumph is what attracts me to it. This is nice to listen to both when your not going thorough the situation of telling someone to pack their things a leave and when you are. One of my favorites from the album. And Wiz Khalifa makes it pop! It reminds me of that late 1990's early 2000's R&B which is what I miss so dearly! Those were the days! A golden track form the album. 


4. Talk A Good Game- 
Confident yet vulnerable, this is my favorite song from the album because Kelly Rowland is so grown and sexy on it. Its CLASSY and SENSUAL. I feel like she is claiming her territory on this one, musically and personally. Vocally, she understands where she is and is no longer worried about anyone else or trying to sound like anyone. The beat is perfection. The lyrics are so honest. This song is about asking someone who you are in a relationship with to be  honest. "Yea you talk a good game, but be honest with me." It's a very jazzy, hip hop feel and some parts of the song remind me of a Brandy "Full Moon" record. I really highly recommend this track.  She sounds so GROWN AND SEXY ON THIS! It displays the concept of the entire album. Glad she went this route. :) 


5. Down on Love- 
This song has grown on me. It has a grown and sexy feel to it as well. It also offers vulnerability. I love the chorus. Each time I listen I feel different about it. I have a love/hate relationship with this one but it's a great song. I think it depends on what mood your in, what frame of mind you are in when you listen. It's sleek and sad. Classic Contemporary R&B. 


6. Dirty Laundry- 
Talk about airing it out! I like this record. It's a bit on the depressing side and I can only listen when I'm in a certain mood. But I do appreciate the sadness and somber mood it gives me.  I also love the concept. A part of me wishes the instrumental was a little better, it feels so empty when you listen, but maybe that was the goal of The Dream (he produced and wrote the record)? It's cold and harsh and serves it's purpose. One of the stand outs because it is a single, but falls short behind the other tracks possibly because of it's production? I don't know why I feel like it lacks something. But it's still a good record, 

7. You Changed - 
When this song opens I instantly smile because its the Fabulous ladies of DC reuniting. And it's new material. It's special because it shows the love/chemistry these girls have not only outside of the studio but in the booth. Also, I appreciate how Kelly Rowland really owned her vocals on this record, she is in the forefront. Beyonce fits magically into the song. Her sassiness really gave me Writings on the Wall days! I wish Michelle did more than a bridge, she should have had a full third verse. She still sounded devine on the bridge but I noticed she always does the bridges in each song the 3 do together. Overall this song is one of the golden tracks on the album!


8. I Remember- 
I like the message of this song. The instruments give me that fancy feel, it sounds kind of cloudy and fogged. Kelly Rowland's voice rides the beat. I think what makes this song special are the instruments. It's cute. Once again I think Kelly is saying "I can play with a sounds! I'm willing to test the limits of what y'all think I can do".  I'm glad this is an uptempo track.


9. Red Wine - 
When I first heard this song I didn't get it immediately but loved the instrumental and vocals. It was a weird and creepy track, giving me that 80's feel. After studying her lyrics and trying to discover why the song is called Red Wine, I fell in love. Kelly actually said the title has nothing to do with the lyrics
, they were just drinking Red Wine in the studio and it allowed them (her producers, writers, herself) to get Kelly in the booth and flow. Music making is like magic, it's like a dish being prepared. I interpreted Red Wine as getting drunk with someone you have deep feelings for and pouring your heart out to them in a tasteful manner while being tipsy. Not no sloppy drunk confessions. This is one of my favorite tracks- jazzy pop sound, sexy feel, a stand out track. Head Nodder. Vocals give me chills.

10. This is Love - 
I honestly don't like this song. I don't know why. It sounds corny a little. I think it's the beat. I think it could've been left off the album. But take a listen and see what you think. I'm one of those people where I constantly give music and artists a try, so maybe my feelings will change?


11. Street Life -
Kelly Sounds so Raw and Hungry on this track. She is gritty and I love it. The production was done by the one and only Pharell! Everything about this track is gold. What makes it so special is that Kelly discusses the struggles of the hood and people's perceptions of it. She defends education and staying on your grind. Being street smart and book smart. She also proves Obama in the track. And states how "Everybody round me tryna get to the MONAY, Including me!" And it's so true, if you look around you, you'll notice everyone is hustling, from the hood and not. No one will help you, you have to grind on your own. I love this song because its so real! Kelly is still on her grind just like us!

12. Stand in Front of Me -
(Nice & Slow) This is such a romantic, throwback track to what R&B once was. I love the sound of it. It made me picture me and my future boo at dinner, eyeing each other at the table , being fabulously in love! YASS! But Kelly sounds like an Angel as she coos "I'll be the king, as long as you stand in front of me." She is describing what a man is saying to woman as he is being romantic. His intentions are to be her knight in shining armor. He just wants romance. And she also tells the ladies how to keep there man! It's a magical record. A classic.

13. Sky Walker -
It's a sassy track. Kelly shouts out Houston and The Dream shouts out ATL! It's smooth, clean, crisp, bold. Kelly is telling The Dream what kind of woman he needs. Independent, classy, and got her own! The female and male perspective in this record is "forget the rest, I'm the best. I'm on my stuff and I'm what you need in your life, Baby I'm a sky walker. I'm on a different level!!" Kelly boldly sings "I'm from Houston baby, can't you tell?"

14. Put Your Name On It -
"Lets get lost in this place, oh love, where they can't find us for days, oh whahh."
This is also one of my favorites. Her vocals match how powerful the instruments are. It's classic R&B and Kelly is giving on of her best vocals on this one in my opinion. She sounds strong. You can HERE HER! It still has that two step feel, so it can be played in the club.  I honestly want this to be a single and for her to shoot the video on an exotic beach or island! (I already got it panned out! Lol). This is also one of the golden tracks of the album and allows it to come to a smooth close.


15. #1 -
Last but not least, this is R&B banger is sexy and bold---it's Talks a Good Game-- Kelly is not having it with her lover and tells him "I'm not playing second fiddle, if I'm not the one, I guess I'm not for you. Won't play number 2." That's right you claim yo territory GIRL! I like songs in which women claim their men. It also makes sense to close the album with this record.


Overall I really like the album and the more I listen to it, the more it puts a hold on me. We see Kelly in a different light. She is more comfortable. More vulnerable, honest, sexy, feminine. I also like how classy and lady like she is. Such a lady. The producers, writers, and Kelly mesh well together. It is cohesive and conceptual. It's about the things women experience in relationships- the love, the pain, the loneliness, the togetherness, the late nights, the club. It picks at things we go through  in life, which is what music should do. I love the honesty on this one, Kelly found herself and has grown. She is Kelly Rowland, not Beyonce, Rihanna, or anyone else.
So Take a listen and tell me what you think! 

Hugs, Kisses and Wishes!

Pull Up to the Bumper Baby : Small Talk

"Driving down those city streets,
Waiting to get down, 
Won't you get your big machine,     
Somewhere in this town?
Pull up to my bumper baby, 
In your long black limosine, 
Pull up to my bumper baby, 
And drive it in between."  - Grace Jones, Pull Up to the Bumper, Nightclubbing (1981)

What ya'll know about that Grace Jones? She is FIERCE!!!! 


Ladies and Gents.....if you need some tips on your game let me school you! Can I give it a shot? Why Not?

First and foremost, I have no game!!! My player card has never been activated and that's fine! Lol but I'll share some tips that I've learned and am mastering, also friends have taught me these things that have worked!  

So you want to get you a boo? A future husband / wife? A jump off? Ok I'll stop LOL! Back to the game of flirting. 

Ladies:
Truth be told, ladies actually hold the power. Many think that men pursue just to pursue but that's not really the case. A lady must give the man the GO in order for him to approach her. Now of course this doesn't always happen because there are some thirsty thirst bucket men out there! But, a woman usually gives the guy the green light. She does so by:

1. Eye contact with the admirer

2. Smiling

3. Playing with her hair while he stares

4. Fixing clothing

5. Applying make up/cosmetics as the admirer gawks at her

6. laughs

7. Catch your admirer watching you by briefly looking at him/her and looking away as if you didn't notice him/her. (If your with your girls or boys, act as if you are fully invested in your convo with them all the while your utilizing their energy to make your admirer want you - wqant you to give them your attention even more!)

8. Being Coy - The art of being clever, shy and lady like. Here is the technical definition.

adjective \ˈkȯi\  

1. a : shrinking from contact or familiarity <'tis but a kiss I beg, Why art thou coy? — William Shakespeare>

    b : marked by cute, coquettish, or artful playfulness <usingcoy tricks to attract attention>

     2

 .  showing reluctance to make a definite commitment <a coyresponse>

I'm not gonna give tips to the fellas of yet. That'll come soon. Just know that SMALL TALK HEPS YOU TOO!!! SO PURSUE WHOMEVER YOU LIKE WITH SMALL TALK! 

Although I'm still learning how to get my game on I found that SMALL TALK really helps! If someone is interested in you, they usually try to get you to engage with some small talk.

Small Talk = Pointless conversation that enables your admirer or the one you are admiring open the door for further communication! That is the goal! Small talk is completely irrelevant and does not have to make sense at all. You can be like "Wow, what did you think about the Spurs VS. Miami Heat Game? Why is the sky blue? etc." The whole point is to get the other person to engage you in conversation. Small talk can then morph into something great. The both of you talk about the weather in Kansas and then discover that you both are big fans of Scandal! Then that sparks more conversation and you'll go with with somebodies phone number! YASSSSS!

Now if you are on the receptive end of things, meaning someone is pursuing you - engage them as they small talk you ONLY IF YOU ARE INTERESTED! See if your a ncie person like myself, you will give them settle ques that you aren't interested like texting on your phone, looking at someone else, or just simply telling them nicely, I AM NOT INTERESTED or make up some excuse like "Oh, I'm currently in a relationship and I'm not taking any applications or looking for interviewees."


Small Talk also allows the both of you to feel comfortable with one another. You know how it is when you first meet someone! Isn't it awkward? You may act all shy and weird the first few minutes. But Small talk diffuses that nervous energy because you gain familiarity with the other person. :)


So there you have it. Small talk is what we all do when we flirt rather you are the pursuer or the one being pursued. It is one  of the many keys for communication! Who knows, you may meet your future baby's father or mother! And I'm just as lost as you all are in the game of flirting but hey, we gotta learn somewhere right?


More of these flirty tips are coming!

Smooches!

Please share this post and your comments!

"I Don't Care if Your Gay, Just Don't Flaunt It!"

Living life as a gay male, I often get frustrated by the logic of some people. Some people embrace the "feminine" qualities within gay men and some despise it.

It really makes me want to run face first into a wall sometimes when I hear people say "it's ok that your gay but, why do you have to throw it in my face? Why do you have to flaunt it? Why can't you be gay but still act like a man?" 

Don't you understand that we are people? It's all expression. Gender expression, sexual expression, physical expression. Heterosexuals get to express themselves and their qualities/characteristics. So why can't we do the same? 

I don't view homosexuality as a lifestyle, it's a path of experience in my eyes. We all have different experiences that bring us challenges. 

The gender binary is so LOCKED! Meaning that "men are supposed to do this, and women are supposed to do that!" But where do we, as LGBT people, fall in the spectrum? 

Those comments, questions and judgements are not only appalling but very insensitive.  Many people have this perception that all gay men are feminine and act the same. So not true! There are masculine gay men, feminine gay men, and some who have a mixture of masc/fem qualities (Them Butch Queens yassssss!!)

And lets not other the hatred within in the gay community. As men, we thrive off of being as straight as possible. "Oh I'm straight acting! I'm a top! I'm this I'm that! I'm a real man! Come taste this machoness!" But it's not a debate about who is a real man, it's about being true to who you are! 

That is why I stand tall as a proud feminine gay male. I was taught that there was something wrong with me. But  I had to fight and continue to do so everyday to prove that I am who i am and that's ok. 

At the same token, I have had to understand that by me living my life, I am taking a risk yet opening the door for other LGBT people all over the world. In a patriarchal world where heterosexual men thrive, our lives are a political stance against the norm. So we have to stay strong and continue to open doors for one another because after racism, homophobia is another festering sickness  of the world. 

So if you are homosexual, be you and stay true to you! I'm trying to do the same! Furthering my understanding of who I am and were I got in this BIG world! Be safe, be wise, be careful. 

Share your comments and thoughts! 

Beyonce - "Standing on the Sun" Review

(World Renown Music Starlet) Beyonce's new promo single "Standing on the Sun" is a welcoming, fresh, sunny delight to the summer ahead of us. The song was created for her magnificent H&M campaign in which the commercial was released as a mini music video back in May! Recently, Beyonce debuted the summer hit in a performance on her Ms. Carter World Tour and the BeyHive went bananas! 

My take on it-

This song is pop royalty! I feel like this is a new and fresh sound for Beyonce, which is what I've been dying for. It is a much needed turn around from the heavy horns and drum use. The record was written by Sia, who also penned Rihanna's hit single "Diamonds" from Unapologetic. 

I've noticed that Sia's lyrics are very honest, romantic, earthy, and just everything! At first I felt like the song was meant for Rihanna but Beyonce made it hers! It fits her and I hope she allows it to be a single for her fifth album. Standing on the Sun just does something to you once it comes on. It's a sensual, laid back, and hypnotizing. 

So take a listen. Do you think "Standing on the Sun" should be Beyonce's new single? Will her fifth album be world shattering? TeamBeyonce are currently still deciding on what the official single, direction, and drive of her fifth album will be. I beleive team Beyonce jand Beyonce her self just wants to deliver this product as it is her debut album. She is taking her time, focusing on delivering the right meal to her fans! We can't wait Beyonce! 


Give me those thoughts of yours!! Please share! 

How to Be Forward Thinking and Positive :)

Hello World!

I've been gone for a minute but I'm back with the "JUMPOFF!" - (Lil' Kim voice!)

How are you lovely people doing? If you've been reading my blog, THANK YOU! I don't care who reads it, I just want to get my thoughts out! To help myself and also help others. :)


Today and the last few days I have been doing a great job with remaining calm. I often over think things, they say thats the Aquarius in me. But regardless of your zodiac sign there are many people who just WORRY FOR NO REASON!

These days the world moves so fast and when you are grinding, you just want things to work smoothly to your advantage. But sometimes the world simply does not work that way. You will have days, months, and even years in which you feel like times are just hard. You feel like nothing is working in your favor and as if your time just isn't here yet.


But I've come to realize that I cannot see the future. All I have with me is my gut, my sixth sense, the spirit, that INTUITION that guides me and all of my decisions. You also have the same thing. Everyone has it but some of us don't know how to tap into it.

A few months ago a wise woman taught me to simply shut everything, every person, and situation off to listen to my thoughts. It's tough because my mind is constantly running rampant. " I gotta do this, I gotta pay this bill, I have to meet this person, I have to eat this, I have to turn in this assignment, I have to be at work at this time, I have to sleep at this time, I gotta wash and blah blah blah!" LOL! And that is perfectly normal. But she told me the reason why we feel like we can't think is because we always have loud music bumping in our ears (I'm a music lover) or are always around too many people in public/private settings. Sometimes you have to get some alone time in to truly listen to your inner voice.

We have to learn to simply calm our nerves and be forward thinking. By that I mean constantly stay in the present while looking ahead. SO focus on what you have to accomplish NOW so you can GET TO THE NEXT STEP. A good friend of mines taught me to simply "RESPECT THE PROCESS".


You cannot have what you want now, nothing happens overnight, and if it does it most likely will FALL at some point because there was no process behind it. It's like cooking a meal, every dish takes some amount of time to prepare. Don't you want your food served up correctly? If so, then get in the kitchen, grab the NECESSARY INGREDIENTS, your cooking utensils, and prepare your dish. Apply that metaphor to whatever situation you are dealing with in your life.

I'm still learning myself!

So be FORWARD THINKING AND POSITIVE! It will all work out! :)


Share your thoughts! xoxoxoxoxoxo.