Pull Up to the Bumper Baby: Eye Contact

"Now in the parking lot garage,
You'll find the proper place,
Just follow all the written rules,
You'll fit into the space." Grace Jones/Nightclubbing/Pull up to the Bumper - 1981

Hola Chicas! So we are gonna sit down and discuss the tea of eye contact while flirting. If you didn't know now you know! Someone told me "I'm not gonna talk or flirt with you if your not looking at me." So of course peeps, you need to LOOK at whoever is talking a good game to you.

You could be looking into the eyes of your future husband and baby's father or future wife/baby's mother! Do you want to miss out on that? *cues crickets* - I didn't think so.


Eye contact is essential to flirting because the eyes say alot about a person. It allows you to read or to be read, if you know what I mean. You can gain a better sense of someone's energy towards you if you study there eyes. You can see if they want your time or not, its completely silent acknowledgement. Non-Verbal communication ignites the real communication.

It can get tricky if someone who is attractive that you have been staring at looks at you one time, simply because they caught you staring.
Lets say you walk into a room, a social gathering per say and you see a dime piece (male or female) giving you that eye! It happens all the time! You give them that eye back, thats you silently saying "kick your game." Unfortunately, some people (like myself) look else where or at the ground and are completely oblivious to the no verbal communication people of interest send us. 

So we have to use our eyes and learn how to read them if we want to master this world of flirting. There are some people who just naturally do it all the time. They walk into a room and just oozzeeee flirtation! And then some of us, like me yes I admit, are completely whack at it! So

My friend once told me - " you are going to miss out on your Hubbie because you never look at people!!!" And I don't want that!

So there you go sugar plums! Eye contact is one of the MAIN pieces of flirtation! So use it!!! 

Pull Up to the Bumper Baby : Small Talk

"Driving down those city streets,
Waiting to get down, 
Won't you get your big machine,     
Somewhere in this town?
Pull up to my bumper baby, 
In your long black limosine, 
Pull up to my bumper baby, 
And drive it in between."  - Grace Jones, Pull Up to the Bumper, Nightclubbing (1981)

What ya'll know about that Grace Jones? She is FIERCE!!!! 


Ladies and Gents.....if you need some tips on your game let me school you! Can I give it a shot? Why Not?

First and foremost, I have no game!!! My player card has never been activated and that's fine! Lol but I'll share some tips that I've learned and am mastering, also friends have taught me these things that have worked!  

So you want to get you a boo? A future husband / wife? A jump off? Ok I'll stop LOL! Back to the game of flirting. 

Ladies:
Truth be told, ladies actually hold the power. Many think that men pursue just to pursue but that's not really the case. A lady must give the man the GO in order for him to approach her. Now of course this doesn't always happen because there are some thirsty thirst bucket men out there! But, a woman usually gives the guy the green light. She does so by:

1. Eye contact with the admirer

2. Smiling

3. Playing with her hair while he stares

4. Fixing clothing

5. Applying make up/cosmetics as the admirer gawks at her

6. laughs

7. Catch your admirer watching you by briefly looking at him/her and looking away as if you didn't notice him/her. (If your with your girls or boys, act as if you are fully invested in your convo with them all the while your utilizing their energy to make your admirer want you - wqant you to give them your attention even more!)

8. Being Coy - The art of being clever, shy and lady like. Here is the technical definition.

adjective \ˈkȯi\  

1. a : shrinking from contact or familiarity <'tis but a kiss I beg, Why art thou coy? — William Shakespeare>

    b : marked by cute, coquettish, or artful playfulness <usingcoy tricks to attract attention>

     2

 .  showing reluctance to make a definite commitment <a coyresponse>

I'm not gonna give tips to the fellas of yet. That'll come soon. Just know that SMALL TALK HEPS YOU TOO!!! SO PURSUE WHOMEVER YOU LIKE WITH SMALL TALK! 

Although I'm still learning how to get my game on I found that SMALL TALK really helps! If someone is interested in you, they usually try to get you to engage with some small talk.

Small Talk = Pointless conversation that enables your admirer or the one you are admiring open the door for further communication! That is the goal! Small talk is completely irrelevant and does not have to make sense at all. You can be like "Wow, what did you think about the Spurs VS. Miami Heat Game? Why is the sky blue? etc." The whole point is to get the other person to engage you in conversation. Small talk can then morph into something great. The both of you talk about the weather in Kansas and then discover that you both are big fans of Scandal! Then that sparks more conversation and you'll go with with somebodies phone number! YASSSSS!

Now if you are on the receptive end of things, meaning someone is pursuing you - engage them as they small talk you ONLY IF YOU ARE INTERESTED! See if your a ncie person like myself, you will give them settle ques that you aren't interested like texting on your phone, looking at someone else, or just simply telling them nicely, I AM NOT INTERESTED or make up some excuse like "Oh, I'm currently in a relationship and I'm not taking any applications or looking for interviewees."


Small Talk also allows the both of you to feel comfortable with one another. You know how it is when you first meet someone! Isn't it awkward? You may act all shy and weird the first few minutes. But Small talk diffuses that nervous energy because you gain familiarity with the other person. :)


So there you have it. Small talk is what we all do when we flirt rather you are the pursuer or the one being pursued. It is one  of the many keys for communication! Who knows, you may meet your future baby's father or mother! And I'm just as lost as you all are in the game of flirting but hey, we gotta learn somewhere right?


More of these flirty tips are coming!

Smooches!

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