"Back in the Day, You Cost 300 Dollars, But Now Your Giving It To Him For Free" - Tamera Mowry

Please watch this video in which actor Tamera Mowry discusses her struggles with receiving criticism due to her interracial marriage. This video moved me, because I've experienced a lot of hate, and will experience more. It disgusts me, racism, some of the shit haters say is atrocious. But Tamera knows that her love is real. I wish we all could realize that half of the things that divide us really don't matter. DO YOU! If you are gay, transgender, Black, White, Chicano, Asian, Purple, pink.....just live your life.

The Healing - A 5:43am Cry That I had with God

"I am no longer apologizing for who I am, your gonna deal with me regardless of how you feel." Kaleef Starks


So, let's talk spirituality and religion a little bit. First off, I'm not pushing my views or perspectives on anyone because I feel like all God wants is a RELATIONSHIP with us. We can choose whichever form we want that to be in. It is 5:43am, and I just got done crying on my room floor. I am sitting physically naked, in my rawness, praying. And a wave of love and calmness just came over me. And I began to have instant flashbacks to the painful parts of my life. The pain I experienced in Fresno, and the pain I experienced in Altadena/Pasadena, CA. I OWN all of it, it is mines. I'm taking my power back.

I am Kaleef Starks a young, college educated, working class, African American, Transgender woman, and WOMAN of Color.

My intersecting identities brought a hard childhood upon me because no one understood why a young child was so HYPER FEMININE. He didn't understand the girl that I was, he couldn't fathom nor see it. My father, a physically abusive alcoholic, beat my ass quite often because he wanted to Kill the gift that I had....my womanhood.

My mother was never there for me and wasn't quite fit for me and my brother. She was selfish, a woman who DOES NOT need children, but I come from her....so here I am.


Both of my parents, hurt me deeply as a child. But, I am forgiving both of them because I can't hold that weight forever. I want to be released from that negativity. I understand that I was meant to have them as parents for a reason, although they are not in my life.

This prayer that I had, I cried. I cried hard! And it wasn't because of sadness, it was because of a genuine happiness FOR WHERE I AM NOW! I have done nothing but stayed humble the entire time. In my prayer, I gave in and just thanked the universe and the spirit for guiding me. I appreciate my education, my friends, my family, and everyone who genuinely see's what I'm trying to do with my life. I want to inspire young homeless, foster, LGBT youth of color all around the world. I want to show them that YOUR GIFT is not a bad thing, and that they need to TAKE THEIR LIVES. It's a cold world out here....fight or flight all day. I'm not afraid of dying, I'm not afraid of anything. I'm here, and what is meant to be will be. I'm not a mistake. This is real!

So I thank you God for literally every fiber in my being, and for me remaining Kaleef. In my prayer, I found my answers. Instead of viewing my transition to womanhood as a world disaster, I view it as a gift. I feel 100% liberated. I haven't even began the medical process yet. I just want to share my message.


I am doing this for the young TRANS WOMAN OF COLOR who are in the streets, doing shit they don't want to do to get by. I want to show you all and the world that it's ok to live in your truth, and do my best to try to rep for you all. Now it all makes perfect sense.


So, I don't know where I'm going yet, but I'm going somewhere.

#KNOWDIRECTION

Thank you for reading. Please like, comment, share on your social media sites. #MYOWNINTERNSHIP

"K. Michelle Rebels Against The Odds" - "Rebellious Soul" Album Review

K. Michelle's recent debut album Rebellious Soul  has been on repeat! I am going to do a short and sweet album review! Sorry I've been gone for a while, just been busy with life!

Reality star, mother, and R&B songstress K. Michelle let's you have it on Rebellious Soul. I will admit, when I first heard the album I did not like it at all! I kept thinking of her in the Love & Hip Hop ATL sense, which inhibited my listening. Like they say, the third time was charm. We all know that despite her character on the show, she is very talented. I honestly feel like she is real and raw, the female R. Kelly (R. Kelly is her mentor). She serves it to you like it is and we haven't seen a female like her in a minute. Keyshia Cole is too busy being opinionated, and MJB is focusing on expanding her music with her upcoming Christmas album. So we have K. Michelle, and I feel like it's her time. SHe also sold 78,000 in her first week of sales and came in the top ten on Billboard and Itunes! (She proved everyone wrong......I know she is feels so good to shut all the haters down.) I feel like I'm winning with you K!

Rebellious Soul Tracklisting


1. “My Life” ft. Meek Mill

2. “Damn”

3. “I Don’t Like Me”

4. “Can’t Raise a Man”

5. “V.S.O.P.”

6. “Pay My Bills”

7. “Sometimes”

8. “It’s Too Late”

9. “Hate on Her”

10. “When I Get a Man”

11. “A Mother’s Prayer




1. My Life


A somber opening of the album, K asks us "What you know about the grind in the streets? WHat you know about them girls on the pole?" It serves as a reality to how people struggle, how K. Michelle struggled and had to sacrifice to get to where she is. Don't judge a book by it's cover.


(The Interlude, "The Right One" is truly something special. This song is on the deluxe version which you can find at Best Buy.)






2. Damn
An emotional tale of loving someone and wanting to be with them but your life and their's won't allow that to happen. Missing out on a love, K. Michelle has detailed that she wrote the record about Chad Ochocinco. I love this song! It's deep, the vocals and lyrics hit the heart. -Golden Track



3. I Don't Like Me
This song here, has made me cry! It is about a woman who gives her body to a men time and time again, hoping they would LOVE her. Self -esteem is checked at the front door in this track. K. Michelle is making sure young girls and woman have a song that details what many of them experiene with men and sex. - Golden Track






4. Can't Raise a Man
You cannot raise a boy into a man! Ladies and Gents, take notes. Classic R&B. Has a MJB feel.






5 . V. S. O. P.
The lead single, this celebration track details on a relationship that is rocky but will be celebrated with a bottle or too of Very SPecial Old Pale ....... Vocals are life, beat is life, production, is some good R&B. I wish more of the songs had this type of up-tempo feel. - Golden Track


6. Pay My Bills
Now, this is where the R. Kelly comes out! K opens the track with a powerful note that will make you call your boo on speed dial! LOL! It's a naughty record... -Golden Track Vocals and lyrics are CRAZY/MIndBlowing


7. Sometimes
This old soul sounding song takes us to church as Miss K sings about how men come and go. Sometimes they come, sometimes they don't. One of the most vulnerable tracks, this should possibly be a single or on a Tyler Perry movie soundtrack! WHen I listen, I picture a sad lady sitting on a porch in memphis drinking whisky....pondering on a love that has her torn. IT's really a moving record that proves that K. Michelle is here to stay. -Golden Track


8. Ride Out
I skip this song....it's ok. I wish the beat was better. Or had a feature such as Wale or something.


9. Hate on Her -
I skip this song as well. It is R&B, "She stole my man but I ain't mad" record.


10. When I Get a Man
Everything and more, that is what this track is. The intro and how it fades in....the honesty in the lyrics and chorus...melody...is complete soul! Makes me stand up out my seat. K. Michelle sings about how when she gets a man...he will love her good! This was a good move because their are too many sad love songs by our R&B ladies. It's soft, feminine, and rough at the same time. - Golden Track


11. A Mother's Prayer
A beautiful dedication to her son....this is simply amazing. A smooth and perfect way to complete the album of Rebellion. GO K! - Golden Track


There are interludes on this album such as "Rebuild This House and Coochie Symphony.....take a listen and formulate your own opinion! Overall this album is R&B Gold. People keep comparing K. Michelle to Keyshia Cole...they do have similarities but K. Michelle has her own image that stirs away from Keyshia Cole. Her music hits you. Keyshia's does as well......but they are different to me. I say this album is a good listen for Fall, if you just broke up with someone, if you are still getitng over a break up, or if you just love good ole' REAL music.


-KL

The Weight

The Weight of It all 

As I sit and reflect on what has occurred  within the last two months, I can't help but feel worn out. What hurts is the fact that there is nothing that I can do for Trayvon Martin and the 17 year old Jamaican Boy. It's frustrating. Both of them are not getting the justice they deserve. 

I feel the weight if it on my back, on my heart. It's heavy. 

We care, and we know what happened. We know it wasn't right and that innocent lives were taken away. 

A lillte ole me is simply putting this out there in hopes that someone will take something away from the acknowledgment. 

They are me and are a part of me. 

Hugs, kisses, and wishes. 

#JusticeForTrayvon

As I sit and ponder about what has been going on in this world lately, it shows me more and more how much our judicial system is flawed. I'm literally speechless, hurt, confused, and devastated. I can say that I'm not shocked that he got off, but there was still a glimpse of hope that this time it would be different. I send warm condolences to the Martin family and I pray that justice is served. God, please comfort them in this time of injustice and consistently watch over them and the other Black/People of Color families that will and/or has experienced this type of crime. I know this blog isn't much, just thought I would send some energy out into this world. It needs it.

-KL 

Am I Next?

#JusticeForTrayvon